Being Stuck in a Financial Riptide SUCKS!

Especially with no decent paying job prospects interested in interviewing.

There comes a time when my stress level gets to be so unbearable that my body just wants to shut down. I have been dealing with this for about a year now.

Last year around this time I was laid off work — a job I had held for 5 months — suddenly with no warning or attempts to give me an opportunity to stay with guidelines for improvement. (Interestingly enough the company is looking for a new hire for the same job right now, but I was told that they were going to be changing the position, which I knew then was a lie but couldn't figure out why I was laid off for real). I was doing my best. My guess is that they didn't like my personality and wanted someone who could deal with tracking and google ads (which is NOT a designers job, but I was working on learning it) and didn't want to tell me that. Ugh. Anyways enough of that pitty party.

At the time Jason and I were attempting a second kiddo. Which we stopped trying once I was laid off. Much to my dismay I found out that we got pregnant very close to the day I was laid off. I totally freaked out! I was looking for a new job like crazy. But who hires someone who is pregnant and would need to take time off after only 7-9 months of working with them? So I kept trying by sending out resumes, talking to recruiting agencies, interviewing and so forth to no avail. No bites. By December I had decided that we could no longer afford daycare so By Jan 1, 2008 if I still didn't have a job I was going to pull Abby out of daycare and become a SAHM knowing full well that our money would be tight enough that we may not be able to pay bills. I didn't like this outlook and I still don't. In the 11th hour I got a call from a recruiter, interviewed, and got a temp contract job for about 5 months. I took it to keep the income up to where we could afford things, but not enough to really help as I knew that I would be uber pregant and have to stay at home with the kiddos. My plan was that once Morgan was 3 months I would re-evaluate staying at home with the kids.

Here is the biggest whopper. It is now 3 months we are getting to the point of desperation as far as our finances go. I know we need to have a little more income than my freelance jobs can allow for. But I have no prospects (I have applied for 2 jobs in the last month or so (but again no bites). I don't doubt that it is because I am asking for more than most people can afford for a full-time designer, but I need the amount I am asking for — it is not unreasonable for my amount of experience and the DC area. Plus over half of what I am asking for will go to daycare and the rest most likely to taxes. So why work at all?

I feel so terribly screwed by this situation. I wish there was more freelance opportunities that I could obtain, but I wouldn't be able to work during the day. I also wish I had the luxury of staying at home with the kids if I wished. It would be great to have a part-time job that I could work at in the evenings or on the weekends that could help supplement our income enough to make a dent. I fear that means I would never really see Jason except for when I crashed from pure exhaustion at night.

I am so stressed and becoming more depressed by the day. I could use a job, but some supportive words would be better. I feel caught in the biggest catch 22 debacle EVER. I have no clue how to get out of this situation unscathed.

Is anyone looking for an AWESOME Graphics Designer (perhaps who could work from or very close to home)? I LOVE InDesign, Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, and Acrobat!! Everyone LOVES my work (or so they say). If absolutely necessary and worth the move I may be willing to move but there would be hefty provisions and not many employers pay for moving expenses now-a-days esp for a designer.

SO. SCREWED. *Crawling under a rock until outlook is better*