Pains in the Neck (and Butt)

As some of you readers may know I was in a vehicle accident back in March of 2001. Where I obtained an eye injury (that luckily recovered quickly). Lets just say that the year 2001 was one of the worst years of my life as well as many other lives I have no doubt. I began blogging in the early part of 2002 to help get me over some of what happened in 2001. Having had numerous posts and blogs which have since been deleted. This blog is the longest standing account next to my LiveJournal account. But I digress.

Starting in December that car accident started its post effects on my spine. And as I would get more stressed (which a final year at college can do to just about any/everyone) I started being in large amounts of pain in my neck and shoulders constantly.

Over the past 6-7 years these neck pains have been coming back at the worst possible times. When I am stressed. So then I become stressed and in tremendous amounts of pain. Last year I went to the ER because of it and was diagnosed with Radiculopthy. So I have been seeing a chiropractor on and off in that time usually when the pain is at its worst. back in Jan/Feb of this year I called up my usual suspect and it turned out when I went in for the appointment that he was selling his practice and I didn't actually get to see him for my last visit, but instead the new guy. Well I gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried him out. Boy did he F up my back (mind you I was 4 or so months pregnant at the time). Shortly after that visit my hips which (he "adjusted") started to experience massive amounts of pain as well as my neck which got worse! So needless to say my neck pain dissipated and the hip pain just got worse, but I lived through it. I was not comfortable going to see a new chiropractor at that point for fear they would also screw up my back.

So now 3+ months postpartum with the neck pain and hip pain rearing its ugliness on my spine once more I did a little shout out on my Facebook account, took a suggestion, and ran with it. And thank goodness I did.

This week I started seeing the new Doctor and have a positive outlook (I know me, right?) and think that he will be able to help me get back to a healthier me.

I have been trying to give up sweets this past week (last year around this time I gave up sodas and other carbonated beverages which has pretty successfully stuck) but have not been able to control the urges. So I will keep working on it and hopefully get to the point of adding exercise on a serious scale AND additionally controlling my food intake better as well. I used to be a member of TOPS but it was recommended by a few people that I try Weight Watchers as it is more regimented. Technically I would prefer to do this on my own as it will become a lifestyle change that I intend to keep doing for longer than I would care to be a part of a weight loss program. So I am slowly rebuilding the motivation that I had back in 2002 &2003 where I went from 220ish to 180ish. I just need it to get here sooner rather than later.

Flikr Badge Frustrations

It is hard as heck to locate the Flickr Badge in Flickr. But with some patience and Google Search engines I found it and have no implimented it onto one of the generic Blogger templates. I was able to adjust the code to my liking, but my hope is to put my own design into play soon. I am desperately trying to keep all my HTML, CSS, and other web development skills in tact while I am staying at home with the kids. Time to take Abby to Lil' Kickers. Ciao!

Being Stuck in a Financial Riptide SUCKS!

Especially with no decent paying job prospects interested in interviewing.

There comes a time when my stress level gets to be so unbearable that my body just wants to shut down. I have been dealing with this for about a year now.

Last year around this time I was laid off work — a job I had held for 5 months — suddenly with no warning or attempts to give me an opportunity to stay with guidelines for improvement. (Interestingly enough the company is looking for a new hire for the same job right now, but I was told that they were going to be changing the position, which I knew then was a lie but couldn't figure out why I was laid off for real). I was doing my best. My guess is that they didn't like my personality and wanted someone who could deal with tracking and google ads (which is NOT a designers job, but I was working on learning it) and didn't want to tell me that. Ugh. Anyways enough of that pitty party.

At the time Jason and I were attempting a second kiddo. Which we stopped trying once I was laid off. Much to my dismay I found out that we got pregnant very close to the day I was laid off. I totally freaked out! I was looking for a new job like crazy. But who hires someone who is pregnant and would need to take time off after only 7-9 months of working with them? So I kept trying by sending out resumes, talking to recruiting agencies, interviewing and so forth to no avail. No bites. By December I had decided that we could no longer afford daycare so By Jan 1, 2008 if I still didn't have a job I was going to pull Abby out of daycare and become a SAHM knowing full well that our money would be tight enough that we may not be able to pay bills. I didn't like this outlook and I still don't. In the 11th hour I got a call from a recruiter, interviewed, and got a temp contract job for about 5 months. I took it to keep the income up to where we could afford things, but not enough to really help as I knew that I would be uber pregant and have to stay at home with the kiddos. My plan was that once Morgan was 3 months I would re-evaluate staying at home with the kids.

Here is the biggest whopper. It is now 3 months we are getting to the point of desperation as far as our finances go. I know we need to have a little more income than my freelance jobs can allow for. But I have no prospects (I have applied for 2 jobs in the last month or so (but again no bites). I don't doubt that it is because I am asking for more than most people can afford for a full-time designer, but I need the amount I am asking for — it is not unreasonable for my amount of experience and the DC area. Plus over half of what I am asking for will go to daycare and the rest most likely to taxes. So why work at all?

I feel so terribly screwed by this situation. I wish there was more freelance opportunities that I could obtain, but I wouldn't be able to work during the day. I also wish I had the luxury of staying at home with the kids if I wished. It would be great to have a part-time job that I could work at in the evenings or on the weekends that could help supplement our income enough to make a dent. I fear that means I would never really see Jason except for when I crashed from pure exhaustion at night.

I am so stressed and becoming more depressed by the day. I could use a job, but some supportive words would be better. I feel caught in the biggest catch 22 debacle EVER. I have no clue how to get out of this situation unscathed.

Is anyone looking for an AWESOME Graphics Designer (perhaps who could work from or very close to home)? I LOVE InDesign, Photoshop, Illustrator, Dreamweaver, and Acrobat!! Everyone LOVES my work (or so they say). If absolutely necessary and worth the move I may be willing to move but there would be hefty provisions and not many employers pay for moving expenses now-a-days esp for a designer.

SO. SCREWED. *Crawling under a rock until outlook is better*